Life Coaching

Had a consultation with a life coach today. Not sure if I can afford a life coach but it was an interesting experience.

It started with an e-mail that contained a few questions for me to answer. My reply follows:

I have opened this e-mail several times and read the questions. And several more times I have sat down to write my answers only to run away from them or find an excuse to do something else. I even took a "break" between THIS sentence and the one that preceded it. I'm feeling very anxious and my mind is racing, though I don't feel like I'm doing anything, just running around in circles. Here goes...

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1.What are your 3 biggest desires and dreams for your life - the ones that really get you excited?

1) To tell beautiful and profound stories that move people through writing and filmmaking.

2) To find someone to share my life with, who understands me and will support me in my goals and who won't judge me unrighteously.

3) ...

I'm not sure if there's anything else I want to do. At first I wrote "To have the resources to accomplish my dreams without the acquisition of said resources supplanting those dreams" but then I realized that I wasn't at all excited by that, the very idea of it stresses me out.

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2. What are your three biggest fears/concerns about your life-where do you find yourself getting stuck?

I was once confronted by a friend in the Navy, his name was Michael Sapp, he kept telling me that I had to face my fears. That I had to do the things that I was afraid of. He kept asking me over and over, "What are you afraid of, Joe?" and I kept dodging the question. So he just asked again, "What are you afraid of?" and I'd try to change the subject. Then he asked more forcefully, "What are you afraid of?" And I blurted out, "Being alone." And he said right there, "Then be alone."

I've gotten used to being alone. But...

1) I'm afraid of ending up alone.

2) I'm afraid my own narcissism will undermine any progress I might make personally or professionally. http://www.joepuente.org/npd.htm

3) I'm afraid of becoming so successful that I turn into one of those rich assholes who thinks that their bank balance is a direct indicator of God's approval and blessings.

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3. What do you hope/believe working with me could do for you and your life?

 

I honestly have no idea. I have very little in the way of income, assets or resources so I'm not sure if this will even go farther than a friendly consultation. At the very least, I hope to gain some perspective.

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Joseph L. Puente

               ...since 1974